"She didn't," Aleksandr said at once, the words resolute, convicted.
He shook his head.
"I swear that much to you, Slava - she loved all that we did for her. To her. Every minute. It was never a regret. It was-"
He glanced away, as thought chased behind his eyes, conflicted.
"...It wasn't Avadya. It was me."
He could feel the absent pass of the washcloth against his thigh, Cheslav's hand idly guiding its progress.
"In the beginning, I..suppose it was about Avdotia, wasn't it. God, I liked the way you looked at her, Slava. I loved to watch her with you. I loved to have her while you watched. And when both of us would serve her at once..."
Aleksandr shuddered, briefly, closing his eyes and biting his lip in blatant appreciation.
"So many permutations. So many pleasures to be had. It pleased me to see her enjoy herself so...thoroughly. And to share her perfection with a comrade, like one might offer a glass of fine armagnac. You remember, don't you, how we strove to best one another. And failing that, how we laughed and acquiesced and took her in our arms. Teasing her. Making jokes."
A bitter sweet smile touched his mouth and faded, replaced by an expression of vague wonder.
"But Slava, something happened. It was underway long before we took our pursuits outside this house. It wasn't long after it all began that it seemed as if...it could have been any woman. Beneath you, beneath me. Between us."
Aleksandr glanced away, his lips parting.
"I loved my wife, Slava. Passionately. I didn't want her to be...merely..."
His eyes sought Cheslav's, ice rendered almost liquid.
"...our means."
Aleksandr's gaze persisted, unflinching.
"And yet, I saw no reason to cease our recreations."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-03-09 10:06 am (UTC)He shook his head.
"I swear that much to you, Slava - she loved all that we did for her. To her. Every minute. It was never a regret. It was-"
He glanced away, as thought chased behind his eyes, conflicted.
"...It wasn't Avadya. It was me."
He could feel the absent pass of the washcloth against his thigh, Cheslav's hand idly guiding its progress.
"In the beginning, I..suppose it was about Avdotia, wasn't it. God, I liked the way you looked at her, Slava. I loved to watch her with you. I loved to have her while you watched. And when both of us would serve her at once..."
Aleksandr shuddered, briefly, closing his eyes and biting his lip in blatant appreciation.
"So many permutations. So many pleasures to be had. It pleased me to see her enjoy herself so...thoroughly. And to share her perfection with a comrade, like one might offer a glass of fine armagnac. You remember, don't you, how we strove to best one another. And failing that, how we laughed and acquiesced and took her in our arms. Teasing her. Making jokes."
A bitter sweet smile touched his mouth and faded, replaced by an expression of vague wonder.
"But Slava, something happened. It was underway long before we took our pursuits outside this house. It wasn't long after it all began that it seemed as if...it could have been any woman. Beneath you, beneath me. Between us."
Aleksandr glanced away, his lips parting.
"I loved my wife, Slava. Passionately. I didn't want her to be...merely..."
His eyes sought Cheslav's, ice rendered almost liquid.
"...our means."
Aleksandr's gaze persisted, unflinching.
"And yet, I saw no reason to cease our recreations."